Good morning.

Did a race through evening prayer last night, propping my eyes open, lying in bed. I was tired and a little cranky about some developments in a group I belong to. The crankiness only goes to show that I have not been received the spiritual gift of mercy. It reminds me of church meetings when too much democracy, where everyone is given their say to repeat what's already been said a dozen times before, and was also in the hand-out everyone received before they arrived in the meeting. I also have little time for hurt feelings.

I think Christians spend far too much time nursing hurt feelings or feeling offended by this or that and those who are accused of hurting those feelings spend too much time bending over backwards to prevent those hurt feelings and people like me who want to get the boring business and constitutional wrangling over with ....no one seems to care that we're gripping the chair seat with white knuckles and grinding our teeth so as not to scream with frustration. What about my "hurt feelings". Or I should say cranky, impatient and irritable feelings.

I guess I like hierarchy....good ones.....authority.....proper authority.....and the best business meeting I ever attended was the Synod of the Anglican Catholic Church of Canada. Bishop Robert Mercer presided. And it was the fastest, most efficient, good-humored business meeting I ever attended. I think sometimes there's an implicit or explicit rebellion that rises up when some people have anyone, no matter how good or right that authority is, tell them what to do.

So, here I am this morning, having a little rant. And dawdling, having read the newspaper instead of getting right down to morning prayer. I can blame my sluggishness this morning on the activity at the club last night.

Cheryl and I took my friend Joanna there, and helped her from her wheelchair into the pool down the nice steps on the shallower end. She didn't want to let go of the railing, but it was a first step. We also were able to help her into the hot tub and she loved it. But, even the little aquafit exercises I managed to get in have made me tired and stiff this morning and I am more present with the "small b" body than I am with the Lord.

So, I started singing morning prayer this morning. Since it's cool enough to keep the patio doors closed, I sang a little louder and thought, this is like jumping into a swimming pool when the water is cold. I don't feel like praising, I feel like grumbling. But maybe if I jump into it, I'll get acclimatized to this bracing activity.
I just did the Venite. Now to the Psalms for the day.

For Day 10, Morning: 50,51,52 Evening 53, 54,55

Offer unto God the sacrifice of thanksgiving: and pay thy vows unto the Most High. (Psalm 50:14)

I pray, Lord, that I might be able to enter into thanksgiving, and I ask that the Holy Spirit might fill me and enable me to praise you body, mind, soul and spirit.

Psalm 51 was wonderful and became a song of prayer for me.

Have mercy upon me, O God, after thy great goodness: according to the multitude of thy mercies do away mine offences.
Wash me throughly from my wickedness: and cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my faults: and my sin is ever before me. (Psalm 51:1-3 The Canadian Psalter, Plainsong Edition, The Anglican Church of Canada)

Make me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence: and take not thy holy spirit from me.
O give me the comfort of thy help again: and stablish me with a free spirit.
Then shall I teach thy ways unto the wicked: and sinners shall be converted unto thee. (Psalm 51:10-13, The Canadian Psalter, Plainsong Edition, The Anglican Church of Canada)

I had never noticed verses 12 and13 before. Today they are in the forefront for me to think about today.

O Lord, open thou my lips: and my mouth shall show forth thy praise.
For thou desriest no sacrifice, else would I give it: but thou delightest not in burnt offerings.
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, shalt thou not despise.
(Psalm 51:15-17 The Canadian Psalter, Plainsong Edition, The Anglican Church of Canada)

I was sitting here, eyes closed, pondering the first lesson. Elisha prophesies that food in the beseiged city will sell at good prices.....good food as opposed to the dove dung and donkey's heads bringing exhorbitant prices among the starving people as is written in an earlier chapter.

The king's advisor mocks this prophecy, and Elisha tells him that he will see it come to pass, but will not eat thereof.

God makes the Syrians hear the sounds of horses hooves and chariots and they flee their camp, leaving their goods behind. Some starving lepers approach the tents and find all the food and gold and help themselves. When they report this to the keeper of the gate of the city, at first king doubts this news. He thinks its a ruse to lure them into the tents for an ambush. But sure enough, the Syrians have fled, and just as Elisha prophesied, the city now has ample food, and the king's advisor sees this comes to pass, but the people trample him.

What comes to mind is the verse: Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Some of us will do it joyfully and willingly and others will be like the king's advisor, laughing to scorn the Word of God, but ultimately having to acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord.

In the Te Deum Laudamus we sing:

Thou art the King of Glory, O Christ: thou art the everlasting Son of the Father.
When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man; thou didn't not abhor the Virgin's womb.
When thou hadst overcome the sharpness of death: thou didst open the kingdom of heaven to all believers.
Thou sittest at the right hand of God: in the glory of the Father.
We believe that thou shalt come: to be our judge.

The fact that Jesus is coming back to judge us is the one thing that seems to be missing from the Gospel accounts these days. Jesus is seen as a friend, as a kind uncle, as lenient with us as we are with ourselves. Mercy and leniency are not the same thing. I know He is merciful and I am thankful for that. But, His mercy includes equipping us to hear him, and obey him. He is not lenient with sin. He died to save us from slavery to sin. I know I need his mercy to even have the motivation to want to throw off my continual desire to return to my enslaved state in small ways, in big ways.

He fights the battle for us. He routs the enemy. We can count on him. But he will judge us for not believing in his promises. We will see them fulfilled, whether we believe them or not. I want to believe and be found faithful and I depend on his mercy in order to do that.

In the second lesson, this lovely exhortation from St. Paul.

Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. (2 Cor. 13:11)

I was going to go to a ladies' Bible study at my Baptist church this morning, but have decided to do these prayers fully instead. The phone rang a moment ago, and Debbie is coming over to do a yoga DVD with me. I like being prayed up before, during and after yoga, so that everything I do in the body honors Jesus Christ as Lord. I look forward to doing some gentle stretching. Tonight Cheryl and I start doing the weights training. I don't look forward to it. However, if I do not want to be composed primarily of fat and water, then I'd better get cracking.

Yesterday I wrote some articles for a couple of Christian newspapers and found it really heavy slogging. Hard work. And because I wasn't feeling so hot yesterday, I found it physically grueling to sit at the computer. And there's hardly enough money in it to make all that time and effort worthwhile. I felt as if I was in Egypt making bricks.

Yet, I can write these and feel no discomfort. I seem to be able to write my novel without discomfort too.
Hmmmm. Something to keep an eye on and ponder.

My friend Michelle will tell me my unconscious is trying to tell me something. I don't like listening to my unconscious as a rule.....only to the Holy Spirit, who can search out my depths for me and bring what I need to know to light, and empower me to obey God. I pray today for myself and for you that you will feel God's closeness and do nothing to quench the Spirit.

Debbie will be here soon, so I have to post and run.